Looking back to move ahead

Playing Twister, peering through the bedroom window, cooking in the kitchen, tea parties and the kisses and hugs have changed my life forever. The joy of 33 youth and children has impacted my life in ways that I can't even find words to express. How do I even begin to tell what is in my heart? We say a picture is worth a thousand words, and it is true but all the words in the world can't express the feelings of my time spent in Romania.

It has been a joy and privilege to serve these children and the ministry and I am so thankful for the opportunity. During my time there I have established life long friendships with not only people in Romania but from Germany, Austria, Switzerland and America. There has not been a day that has gone by since being in the states that I have not thought of a fond memory of the children or the team of people who came and served there over the summer.

The encouragement and support financially and spiritually has truly changed my life. The emails and warm thoughts have helped get me through some challenging times. Together we have made a huge impact in the lives of these children and they will never be the same due to the love we shared with them. I don't think any of us will stop praying for these children and we will never forget how they impacted our lives!

Although difficult to move ahead it is a must! There are millions of children who are orphaned around the world. Millions of families living in trash dumps and on the streets around the world. Millions of lives waiting to be touched with the love of Christ! We can't stop in one place, we must keep pushing forward, breaking new ground! A piece of bread, a bowl of soup, a hug, a kiss, a prayer, so many things, tells people that God remembers them and God knows their name and He did not forget them and He does exist! Who will tell them? Who!?

I quickly hear the words in my heart, the same ones that I said 3 years ago overlooking the vineyards in Iasi Romania. The same words Isaiah and many, many many generations of people have said, "Here am I; send me."(!) (Isaiah 6:8) I will go! Me, Cindy! Send me to the next place, open the doors and let the relationships that have been establish be used for your glory to help build your kingdom around the world! Together like a chain linked around the world we will stand arm in arm in the spirit and change lives with your love.

Keep reading and watching for the next place, it is an exciting time! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!

Thursday..

I sit here at my computer wondering what I will say? How will I say it? Is there anything to say at all? It has been an emotional 5 days. Last thursday I found out I would be leaving the orphanage and today I am home in St. Louis at my parents house. I am still in shock and very numb by the quick transition. There are so many emotions.

For the last 3 months I have poured everything I have to give into 33 children and today I sit alone in a quiet house early in the morning wondering what I will do today? I am awake due to time, as it is 2:30 p.m. in Romania. I miss the sound of 11 girls barling down the steps to go to breakfast, if it was not the pounding of the steps that woke me it was the loud shhhhhh's that did for sure. Then 20 minutes later the sounds of them coming back discussing the program of who would do what chore.

There are so many things I miss but I will go back to the day I had to tell the kids that my time with them was going to expire. We all sat in the bedroom ready for bed, Claudia and Dianna sitting on my lap and Maria and Eva sitting so close I could barely move, waiting for our nightly song and prayer.

I then explained that it was time for me to go and I would not be staying until December. After 3 seconds I had their full attention as tears began to run down my cheeks and I could barely get the words out. There mouths hung open in disbelief as the quickly inquired as to when I would leave. Eva began to cry and then Mirella and then many followed suit. Their hearts are very senstive to each other. As each one of them dealt with the emotion in different ways, Ileana was loud and lauged uncontrollably and others sat quiet in their own thoughts and I was bombarded with many questions. I answered all the questions and assured them that it had nothing to do with them that it was God's timing. Even though I had a hard time understanding that reason myself and still have moments where I don't understand. We then sang a few songs and prayed and I tucked them and told them we would discuss it more in the morning. There were many tears but a peace knowing that we still had each other for a few more days.

I was then off to share with the boys in House 2 as I had the night shift with them. On the second floor all was quiet as it was 10:15 and 10 boys under 10 years old were fast asleep. So up to the third floor I went to tell 6 of the older boys. As I sat on the edge of the bed and told them of my departure there was silence and disbelief. Once again, I answered all their questions and we talked about how much we would miss each other. It was a good time spent with them and a good time of prayer afterwards.

I had already explained the circumstances to the teens and it was difficult telling them as well due to the close relationship I have with each one of them. Maria, Juliana, Romeo, Iuli, Jordan...We were all in disbelief but knew my time would come to a close quickly.

Even though I am back in the States and trying to figure all this out myself, I still have a peace and know that God's ways are higher than ours and I have to trust with all my heart.

Many plans are in man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand. Proverbs 19:21

Here is what Joyce Meyer wrote about this passage. Even thought you may still be operation in old habits, you still have hope of change, but you can't change yourself. God will change you, if you seek Him with your whole heart. Don't be in a hurry for God to finish working in your life. We want everything to be done instantly, but God is not interested in our schedule. The enemy may thwart your plans, but God's plans don't get thwarted, and He has a unique plan for you. Seek God's plan for your life. Stay on fire, red hot, zelous. Pursue His prupose for you with every ounce of energy you have. There is nothing in this world that is worth seeking more.

Now this is just one day of saying goodbye, as I try and process thru the last weeks events please stand in prayer with me for the kids. As it was truly a blessing that God took a "me" and sent me across the world to share 3 months with these very special children. Together we have poured into these kids lives and helped change them for the better. More on this journey later.

Suddenly...

Suddenly things changed...My original plans were to got to Iasi today and cross into Moldova but I am very sad to say that I will be leaving the orphanage today and back to the States on Monday. Brother Ilie, Founder of Walk in the Light Ministries, spoke with me on thursday and it seems they will not need any volunteers for the school year. So instead of going to Iasi I have prayed and decided to come back to the States and pray about where God will have me go next.

However, now I am dealing with saying goodbye here! It is honestly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to date. I will miss these children so much but trust that God's ways are higher than mine. I came here in 4 days notice and I leave just as fast.

Please pray for my travel mercies and I will update you further on the details the beautiful and lovely departure from the orphanage. I have amazing photos of our last days together and stories that will move you. Even though I will not be here physically our hearts will be here...Together we have changed these kids lives.

I am sorry it is abrupt for you but it is abrupt for us here as well...We walked on this journey together from the beginning and we will walk through it to the end. We need your prayers and we pray for each and everyone of you who has touched our lives...More later today or when I hit the states on monday.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful journey with me.

Even the sky celebrates.

As I sit on the balcony typing I can smell onions and peppers on my hands as I have been helping cut them the past 2 days. I wish you could be here as I gaze into the sky on a crisp, crystal clear night and watch a light show from God. The stars are shining so bright, it really is "like a diamond in the sky." Every where I look stars are shooting across the black canvas, I mean it looks like this was made special for me! It really is the most beautiful I have ever seen and I am moved by the goodness of the Lord as I reflect on the past few days.

We are near the end of summer and getting ready for a new season. The days are getting shorter and fall is in the air. There have been some very cool nights here and you can smell the change in the season. The fruit from the trees have been picked and we have stripped the hazelnuts from the trees and ate all them and now we just wait for school to start.

While we wait we made chocolate peanut butter refrigerator cookies...That was a huge hit, especially the licking of the bowl. Boy can they lick it clean! It is a special time for them and me to! I just have to bring my patience with me, there is a real test in letting 10 girls have a chance to put 5 ingredients into a bowl. Everyone gets to stir 5 strokes! :)

The other highlight we had over the weekend was Maria's birthday. Maria turned 17 and me and Juliana wanted to make it a special day for her, after all we only turn 17once in a life time. The young girls and I made a chocolate cake and Juliana, 17 years old and very special to me as well, made a yellow cake. We had a fun day creating and decorating 2 birthday cakes. It was a privilege for me to cook with Juliana, as she said this was her first time ever to make a cake.

At 8 p.m. the anticipation of the party was over all the kids came for games, cake and ice cream. Trust me it is a real treat here. We played pin the nose on the clown and hot potato. I wrapped a few small gifts for prizes, bubbles and balloons. (Thanks again Knox Church) It was so much laughter and fun! Then for the birthday song and then eat! Oh my, the kids were litter ally licking the plate. I know it sounds crazy but true! It is a real treat here!

Food it is what sustains us physically but it sustains us in many ways other ways as well. Think about some of the most important moments in your life...In most cases they involve food, birthdays, promotions, weddings. Some of our fondest memories are smelling our mothers or grandmothers cooking coming from the kitchen and sometimes even the not so happy moments in our lives were discussed at a table eating food.

I think of the memories we are etching into these children's lives just by making a cookie or baking a cake and years down the road when they are making cakes and cookies they will reflect on the first time they made a cookie with Cindy from America who came to the orphanage when I was a child...These times now will go on for generations to come and the thought of it makes me understand the stars dancing in the night across the sky in celebration of generations of promises coming to pass. He is the Alpha and Omega!

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Words and more pics coming soon!

Carrots and Onions Oh My!

August 26, 2008

The harvest of the garden is in full swing here! Everyone is helping in someway to get ready for the winter. Yesterday, I sat on the bench with Nicoletta, Lenuta and Julia peeling carrots and onions and lots of them as the kids played in the field below. Today my hands still have dirt in the cracks and they smell so bad! I sat peeling one to Nicoletta and Lenuta's 4 listening to them speak with each other making up my own stories in my head of what they were talking about. I understand, maybe, every 10th word. :) I think it was about school and the schedule and the kitchen...I dunno, but that is what I imagined they said.

Since I did not completely understand what they were saying I drifted into my own thoughts...What did peeling carrots and onions have to do with spreading the gospel? I mean there is nothing super spiritual about this job and what about when I was in House 2 last night mopping the floors and cleaning the toilets after a full days use and the thought came again, What does this have to do with missions and laying hands on people and seeing them healed? Where are the miracles in this job? Where is the annointing in this...:) God I am a missionary and I should be out spreading the word! Doing miracles, raising the dead, healing the sick...Blah, blah, blah...

After I finished I walked up to the 3rd floor to visit with the big boys, Jenut's (probably spelled wrong) and Cosmin, 12 and 13 years old. They shared their hopes and dreams with me. Jenut's wants to be a profesional football player and his favorite team is Rapid. He showed me his scrap book of the team and told me all about the players. His birthday is in October and he wants a football with Rapid on it. I asked him if he could ask God for one thing what would it be and this is it, a football. I don't know if I can make that happen or if I should but we will see.

Cosmin, he is so fun! He said he wants a transitor radio with headphones. His birthday is in October as well. These kids are so special and they work hard here and deserve everything their hearts desire. I will pray and see if it is possible for me to help with their request but after spending time with them and actually getting to talk with them without 20 other kids around was a blessing. I encouraged them to pray and ask God for what they wanted and that they could be anything they wanted to be! God had a plan for their lives and now is a good time to start asking God what he wants them to do and learn.

Walking down the steps to lie down on the concrete floor I found the answer from earlier in the day, the miracles are in the carrots and onions and the cleaning the toilets! This is the ministry of all of us, serving and relationships. This is what God created us for to serve in relationship with Him. I will cointue to serve into my destiny. It is not super spiritual it is not well known or even very popular but after peeling carrots and onions and cleaning toilets...That is when the miracles show up! Have you peeled a carrot or onion today? :)

"How bouts"

It has been a very difficult week for me, no reason in particular just a tough week. You know we all have them...The summer is coming to a close the same thing day after day begins to get to you...Then you add a giant bucket of culture shock and you have yourself a very difficult week! I looked culture shock up on google to make sure that I was really experiencing that and yup! I am! I have all the symptoms and results. :) Look it up and see and you may understand. The good news is that if you are having a bad week in your everyday life you can't blame it on culture shock! Ha!

I mean if you just want to go to the store you can't cause the public transportation only comes at 7,8,2,6 and 8 and not on the weekends. Well...This is just one thing I can complain about and trust me there are many more...

Somehow those things mean nothing when you hear 30 children running in the sprinkler or when your very good friend from Germany who has been here one year returned home and you give 10 girls a gift to give her and the excitement of giving something that they did not even pick out is like a balloon just before it explodes. The excitment is uncontainable.

How bout spreading some pumpkin spread on bread and placing a cucumber and tomato on it with Ileana, who is delighted to help me in the kitchen, just me and her, to feed 30 children dinner. Or waking up at 5:30 a.m. to spread peanut butter and jam on 3 very large loaves of bread to feed 30 children for breakfast. They are delighted by the peanut butter and ask me every day when it is my turn to prepare the breakfast and if I will give them more peanut butter. :) (Thanks again Knox Church)

How bout putting beanie babies next to their head so in the morning when they wake they will have a surprise for being good. (Thanks Knox Church) However, it backfired on me as the first boy woke at 5 a.m. with such delight that he woke the others as well. I remembered the excitement of christmas in my own childhood that if you got there first you were sure to shake and stir the everyone else in the house. So how could I be mad!

How bout making your Granny's bannana bread recipe with 10 girls in Romania who can't hardly wait for it to come out of the oven and sharing 2 small loaves with 40 people. :) God is always more than enough!

There are so many "How bouts" here...It makes the really hard days, the really difficult moments fade away like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. After all the hard times are usually about me and the "How bouts" are about the children and what God is doing in their lives through us! We are blessing them each and everyday with the love of Christ...So the next time you are having a difficult time think about the "How bout" moments in your life!

When I was a child...

August 18, 2008

I read something on the internet that posed a very interesting question. "How would you feel in Jesus was in the next room waiting to speak with you?" I have been pondering that question in my own heart. My first response was I would be afraid, not afraid of Jesus but the reverance of Him who has created all things. The awesome wonder of His mighty power...There are so many things to revere about Him.

The next thing I thought was fear and I realized I had more fear about my life than previously thought. Fear to be alone, fear of failing, fear that I am not worthy..Oh my, it opened a door in my life that I thought was finished...However, being in an unfamiliar place, not knowing the language, not having established relationships is a very real fear...

Today I was walking in the city and was looking for a familiar place and got turned around...Now in the US, no problem, you just ask someone, if your a female, :) but when you are in a county that is unfamiliar and noone speaks your language fear is very real. I did find my way home and it was not a big deal but I further ponder and ask God to help me deal with the fear I am experiencing here. Please pray for me as God melts and molds me through this process.

Now on the other hand, I asked the kids here what they would do if Jesus was in the other room waiting to speak to them. Almost all of them said, "I would go and speak with Him." :)

When I was a child I used to speak like a child,think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. I Corinthians 13:11

What is worthy of praise in your life today...

August 16, 2008



For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]. Philippians 4:8

A very good friend emailed this to me and I have been meditating on it day and night. Last night I worked in House II, the boys house. My first time on the graveyard shift since my days at the hospital. This is my least favorite shift and when I work with the boys it takes me off the schedule with the girls and they are frustrated about that and so am I. The girls and I were just starting to get adjusted to each others ways. :) God always turns stuff around for us and instead of focusing on being away from the girls and kissing them goodnight I embraced the time I would spend with the boys, even though most of it would be sleeping for them.

Well...When I arrived at 1o they were all settled in and quiet when all of a sudden across the fields, in a small town there were Fireworks! A whole show, not like America but great for Romania! Well, after that you can guarentee there was so much talk about what they saw I thought they would never go to sleep.

Then they asked me to sing for them...I am not a singer but the stark walls, tile floors and concrete stucko makes for great accoustics! You know like the shower. I sing great in the shower and the car and would not sing for anyone else but 8 boys requesting every song ever known to a church! These kids know more songs than you can imagine. Soooo...For at least 1 hour I took request after request. "Open the Eyes of my Heart Lord", Jesus, Lover of my Soul. Jesus, Jesus Jesus, I love you Lord, Unto the O Lord..You name it I sang it and one hour later those boys were snoring under the annoiting. I have been told that they wake up and cry all night, well not last night they slept all the way through. In the morning I made Peanut butter and jam bread for all the kids, which is a great treat! Thanks again..Knox Church.

Today we had water balloon Pinta and then all out water balloon fight, all was soaked! Even when I am lonely and things change you can always find something so beautiful, so lovely, so wonderful about our God. What was worthy of praise in your life today?

It's a simple life...

August 14, 2008

I thought I would start this blog spot to udate you on the daily activities here in the orphanage. It will give you a good handle on what and how to pray as I will be very open and honest with my life here. I look forward to reading your comments and sharing your thoughts with me. I will also try and share photos and some fun stories as there are so many you have missed already!

My prayer is that you will all be touched by the lives of these children as much as I am...Not only the children but I hope you will get to know the staff as they are here for the children as much as I. The Lord has brought all of us together here for such a time as this! Psalms 139.

I will go back a few days, starting on monday or maybe it was tuesday, :) as it was a significant day for me!

Almost every day I try and take a walk to the town of Livezile, just to get off the property and get some excercise. I walked with Julia, a 17 year old girl who grew up here in the orphanage. We stopped at Ms. Mena's house to pick a prune from her tree, they are sooooo good! Ms. Mena is a lady who defected to Romania during the war, she speaks Romanian and German and I can't understand a word she says but she is a happy spirit!

She was not in her yard so we ate from her tree and continued on thru the town. Nicoletta, a worker at the orphanage son was out playing and ran and told his mom there was 2 blondes walking down the street. She came from her house calling my name. She welcomed us in her house and fed us good chicken and the most delicious cake. As we visited, Ms. Mina came to the door looking for me. :) I thought it was so sweet. She saw me take fruit from her tree but by the time she came to greet me I was in Nicoletta's home. We visisted a little and Nicoletta gave me a tour of her simple but lovely home. She has a beautiful garden and we enjoyed the strawberries from it.

As we departed we stopped at Ms. Felicia's house to greet her as well...She also works at the orphanage, for 12 years, and recently had surgery for a cyst, I think. She has been out of work for some weeks and is still not completely well. We ate some cookies and listened to the horror stories of her visit in the Romanian Hospital. Julia was there so she told me what she said. Before we left I laid hands on her and prayed for her. She mostly works with the girls in House 3 and they miss her very much and are always full of stories that Ms. Felicia tells them.

It was special because for the first time here, I felt like I had friends and was starting to establish relationships. I was also moved that not only is the ministry God called me to here in the orphanage but to the people of the small town, Livezile. I understand that touching lives here is a blessing but then when God moves me outside of that I am more blessed.

We are definetly in the dog days of summer here, it has been 90 plus degrees here...I know it is hot where you are but you have air conditioning. The other day the girls rode the bikes around the property and I was busy teaching Diana how to ride. She has not mastered it yet but she will before summer is up. She is thrilled that I am teaching her!

Yesterday they picked all the green beans out of the garden and the children help pop them and get them ready for the winter. I think they ate more than they popped and after lunch 2 of them were vomitting! Samone and I cleaned vomit up 3 times. Today, they did not eat them they popped them. :)

It is a simple life, one that is difficult for an American to embrace. No car, no malls...blah, blah, blah but one worth adjusting to! All the malls in the world and the nicest car can not replace the smile on Diana's face while I teach her to ride a bike! I will exchange air conditioning for a visit at Nicoletta's house with Ms. Mina and a prayer for Ms. Felicia. It is simple but the most gratifing thing I have ever done in my life and I would not change it for the world!