Want Everything, Value Nothing!?

Recently I ponder in my heart, value!  It is an endless thought that has made many turns.  I still have not found the answer, if there is one?  But worthy, maybe, of saying out loud, or in my case blogging.  How can you teach folks to value some material thing if they do not value their own selves?  We give a toy in the programs and 20 minutes after I leave I find the remains of those items crushed on the sidewalk, never to be used again.  There was such joy to recieve and to give the toys but it is short lived after the toy and it's new owner left the building.  Hats, gloves, shoes, clothes given, to never be seen again.  As I walk and pick up the remains scattered on the sidewalk I wonder why I even bother but on the other hand and more important, how do I teach these kids that there is something not right about just tossing what someone gave them on the ground?  People basically do what they are taught and isn't there something that is deeper going on than throwing a toy away? 

Want Everything, Value Nothing!?

Recently I have made a couple visits to a family outside of Medgidia.  A family of eight with a 4 room home.  All but one sleep in the same room with 3 beds bumped up to each other.  (including the parents)  They sleep, eat, play, watch TV and on the last visit they moved their stove in that room.  Why they don't use the rest of the house, I can't figure out.  The family, is falling apart in every way.  The kids have not attended school in 2 years, the mom is overwhelmed with life and the dad, I don't know much about him.  He works and they recieve money from the State and his employment.  Although it is not much money for a family of 8 it is sufficient to live.  Their electric is not working because they did not pay the bill, the stove has some sort of black carbon coming from it when they cook, a simple thing will fix it and still that can't seem to get out of the hole they got into over time.  We bring school supplies, shoes, socks, food and as we distribute the new supplies they toss the clothes where they land if they don't like them, walk over the old bags and notebooks like it is part of the floor, they come in and out of the room and walk across the bed as if it was part of the floor too.  As the sun shines through the window, I can see particles of dust flying at every step across the mattress. 

Want Everything, Value nothing!? 

After the afternoon program, I give a half loaf of bread and a pound of salami left over from the program to one of the kids who comes and helps me prepare the food.  She herself lives in a family of 13, ages from 20 to 1.  They live in a house, if you can call a 2 room place this.  She is 14, I suspect, there is no record of birth and she doesn't know and no one else for that matter knows.  That says volumes right there.  Knowing she is at home with many children and the parents, they say, are in Italy working, I give the bread and salami for her to take to the others in her family.  I feel really good about this and seems she does too.  However, the next day I found out that she took the food and ate a couple pieces of bread for herself and dumped the rest of it on the ground.  When confronted she admitted to it.  I only felt sad for her and spoke with her about this and then gave her the food left over from that days program.   

Want Everything, Value Nothing!?

Am I creating a bigger problem?  I am teaching value?  Some days, I just don't know.  Am I hurting the very people I say I am helping because I feel good to give something?  I can go on and tell more stories similar to these but let's think about this..

Right before I began to write this, I surfed the net for the American Black Friday sales!  To tell you the truth, I wanted to buy everything, well, almost everything.  Knowing I can't have it all and it is to hard to get all the way over here and who has the funds to buy everything?  So in some ways don't we all want stuff.  But what makes us different?  Do we value what we have or do we just want more.  I think many of us purchase, receive or even give something (to make us feel better) and many of those things are on a shelf, basement or garage.  What makes that any different than throwing it on the street or walking over it like it was part of the floor? 

Hey!  Now I am even starting to feel bad, but that is not the point!  Maybe the point is that it is not the things we throw, store or put away...It is that we,us, people are the value not the things.  The value is the investment in people and relationships and isn't that why we give whether it is material or time?  It is an investment into our life and others.  Wanting everything and getting everything does not make us more valuable, you are the value, just you alone, with nothing!  God loves us when we have something and when we have nothing.  All of us!  The same!  Everything or nothing!  He loves us!   Maybe the lesson in all this is to...

Value Everything, Want Nothing!? 



Embrace Change or Freeze!

The season is changing so fast!  Two weeks ago when I was walking I saw the leaves changing colors.  Now everything is changing, the sunflowers are withered and ready to be harvested, the guys are cutting wood to prepare for winter, the hay is being cut and the last of the fruits and vegetables are being sold and prepared for the winter.  Whether we like it or not it is changing!  It is how God created it!   You can embrace the change and prepare for it or get stuck in the cold!  If I decided that I did not want to change with the season and kept my shorts and t-shirts out, it wouldn't matter, I would get cold, the season will change whether I want it to or not! 

Isn't that how life is, everything changes, we can fight the change but eventually we will have to succumb to it!  God has a plan and it was designed before we were born and He already knows when things will change and how we will get through, we must embrace it and move forward with the change and plan. 

The seasons we know will change, winter to spring, spring to summer, summer to fall and then to winter!  What about the things we don't know about, what do we do when things change and we can't, or feel we are not prepared for it?  The truth is that we are already prepared, we just don't know it.  Remember, God has a plan and we will move into that plan if we like it or not!  We can step out in faith and obedience and change with the plans or we can stay in our shorts and t-shirts and freeze! 

Really, none of us think we are prepared for life changes!  Joshua probably didn't think he was prepared to take the promise land and fight his first battle, but he was and he did!  Unprepared God directed his steps and really his first battle he did not even fight, he just was obedient and stepped out in faith and God fought for him.  How about Noah, he probably did not know he was capable of building a giant boat and gathering every kind of animal to go on it, but he stepped out in faith and obedience and God did the rest!  Moses!?  He freed an entire nation and ran to the Red Sea with them, ooooppss!  I bet he thought, "Now what was he going to do?" But he was obedient and stuck out his staff like God said and the rest is history!  I bet none of these guys were prepared for the changes God had in store for them! 

There are some days when I feel so ill equipped, not capable, not able to keep up with things that are changing so fast.  So very fast, really!  There are times when I feel I am at the Red Sea, and say, "Uh oh!  Now what am I going to do."  Well, I can stand there and let the enemy defeat me, or I can listen to what God says to do and trust and move forward!  You know when I do that, the Red Sea parts every single time!  And, every single time I am surprised!  It's part of the plan, part of the season change!

We all have this change and plan in common.  It doesn't matter where we live, who or what we serve, how much money we have or don't have, job no job, ministry no ministry, fat or skinny, tall or short, young or old!  God has a plan and a purpose for each one of our lives, we can embrace change and step out in faith and obedience to move forward or we can be defeated and freeze.  Either way, it's God's plan! 

I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.

Jeremiah 29: 10-14 (The Message)

52 DAYS!

As I greeted my guest from Norway at the bus station in the distance I heard my name being called.  "Cindy, Cindy!"  When I stop to look 3 girls running at full speed, with the smallest running into my arms with a kiss and a smile.  I look into her brown eyes that sparkled with joy and a face that was full dirt from the sweets eaten earlier.  All day these girls stay at the dumpster, collecting plastic bottles and metal to exchange for money.  In between they eat food given by those taking their trash.  The sister is standing next to me, just as dirty and pant legs rolled up as far as they will go, on a brisk spring day.  Hair matted and hands black.  She reaches and holds my hand and ask for me to buy some food.  The oldest stands and greets my new guest and again I am asked for food for her and her siblings...52 DAYS!

It was muddy from the rain the night before.  Stratigically stepping on the hard mud and not the soft.  Trying to find grass anywhere to make the journey less sloppy.  As my right hand is swinging back in forth with joy as I grip the hand of a 12 year old who is very happy.  We are visiting her home to ask her mom if she can go to camp next week for the first time in her life.  Our hands break as we dodge mud puddles only to be joined again on the hard parts of the ground.  On the right there is shacks made from straw and mud bricks, doors made of shingles found in the trash, windows broken out with plastic bags replacing glass.  On the left, the same shacks falling down, as the scraps of metal and pieces of trash can barely sustain the structure they call home.   There is no water and no electricity, some days they take the plastic bottles they collected and fill them at the local market.  It is like another world, an area with it's own rules, it's own ways and own culture.  It is hard to imagine people can exsist in such conditions because 3 blocks away are neighborhoods of people who live in apartments and homes and have some sense of normal...(whaterver that is)  52 DAYS!

At the end of the morning program I am surprised to see a girl from the other side of town walk in the door, soaking wet from the rain.  Ofcourse, no coat, no umbrella.  She said she was at one of the local schools to see if she could start attending.  It is a fantasy for her and far from reality.  She is 12 years old, never attended school and hangs on the street all day long.  She comes from a family of 12 or 13.  She lives in a room with her family no bigger than some of your bathrooms.  She always ask me when she can come to my house and stay with me...52 DAYS!

Everyday for a year I looked out the window of my apartment and prayed for this building dream to become a reality! I had great hope and expectaions for what God could do inside this neglected building. In January with little funds and big faith we began to put love and life back into this building. A team of volunteers moved forward quickly as we purchased radiators and concrete to begin the rehab. Since then they have made progress but there is a long way to go...52 DAYS!

This building will be a place for the girls in this story and many others to come daily for a hot meal, shower and educational and vocational training. There will be a classroom, kitchen and bathroom facilities. It is in the center of thousands of Gypsy and poor families and children. It will be a place of hope, a safe place for them to come and be loved, nurtured and discipled...52 DAYS!

On July 2 a team from California will come and after a team from Norway.  Starting May 12 to July 1 there are 52 DAYS!  With the comittment of many and the help of our God, we can complete the room for the kids, the bathroom and kitchen.  It will be a place for the teams to stay, cook and shower during this time we will dedicate the building and begin to fullfill the vision God gave us here to take Medgidia for HIM! 52 DAYS! 

52 DAYS it took Nehemiah and his team to complete the walls of Jerusalem!  They worked day and night, with tools in one hand and swords in the other, there was great opposition against them but God frustrated the enemy.  There are things against this project and in the natural it looks impossible to finish in 52 DAYS but TOGETHER we can finish what God has started.  Stand and work with us by praying, praising, giving and fasting.  However you see to help us we can finish in 52 DAYS!

The wall was finished on the twenty-fifth day of Elul. It had taken fifty-two days. When all our enemies heard the news and all the surrounding nations saw it, our enemies totally lost their nerve. They knew that God was behind this work.

Nehemiah 6:15-16

Here is what we are up to! (Ministry Upate)

Morning Literacy Program

We are making great strides in educating the 1 to 40 kids who come running to the program 3 days a week! It is a slow process and after one year I am happy to say that most of the kids can recognize at least 6 letters and say a word that goes with each letter. They all can color in the lines and are better at using scissors and glue. They also are better at not cheating in the games. I know it doesn’t sound like fast progress but the dynamics are very challenging. For most kids they are the first in many generations to be able to even write.

In May the kids have an opportunity to go to camp, Monica and Visel will take them. The first week the kids under age 7 will go and the second week kids from 8-12. It is a week of pure joy for them and the kids have been asking about the camps since January.

If you would like to send one of them the cost is $35 USD or 25 Euro. It includes dorm like rooms and 3 meals a day. It is not expensive because they are going so early.

Afternoon Church Program

We started this program in September and it is getting stronger each week. The Church is located in a neighborhood and the kids who live on the street are consistent to come every week. However, there is 100’s of Roma Gypsy kids behind this area who we would like to reach. It is a simple program with songs, a bible teaching and a craft with a sandwich and simple treat served at the end. Two weeks ago we visited the homes of the kids behind the church and as of last Thursday we had 30 kids in attendance, half of which are from the area we visited. Please keep this program in your prayers.

Home Visits

Two weeks ago we visited the homes of the kids in the programs. We prayed with the families and listened to the challenges they face from day to day. In most cases there are a large number of people living in a small room. There is no heat, running water and if they do have electric it is conveniently borrowed from the city and wired very creative. One mom turned the light on in her house by connecting two wires together, sparks and then light. I can try and tell in great detail of the smells, sadness and shocking things but really the only way you can truly understand is to see it for yourself.

We broke new ground by visiting an area near my home called, The Garden. It is about 200 people squatting on city property. Their homes made of material from the trash. They are very innovative. This area is where many families from my local trash dumpster live. We are in prayer with the Church on how to proceed in transforming lives in this area. Please stand in prayer with us to know what to do.

Building Project

The project is moving along slow then fast then slow then fast. Right now we are in the slow phase. There are days when I think it will be completed by summer and other days I think it will be finished next year. It is easy to loose faith. There are so many things that you can’t see that need to be done. Here is what happens when it rains. (Pictured above)

The volunteers from the church are working hard here everyday, but there is still ton of work to be done. Also, I am out of money and am waiting on God to send some more! I believe He will. He sent me to feed the kids here and this is where we will be able to give them food and so much more when it is complete! I think this project will play a significant role in helping the families from the Garden. We will be able to minister to the whole family not just the kids!

A Song from the Heart of Rebecca...

Since one week I’m back in Germany. One week went by so fast.

While I was in Romania, typical things happened –simple daily stuff. This was my third time to visit Cindy and it is familiar to me and I had an opportunity to see all my old friends again.  In one way I’m back in routine but at the same time I’m different cause of what I experienced the last two weeks in Romania.

My name is Rebecca. I’m a student from Germany, 22 years old, and I’m going to be a teacher for handicapped kids one of these days. Since I met Cindy in an orphanage three years ago she has been a very important friend for me. So I love, love, love to visit her! And I love to visit her in ROMANIA – the country where I left a piece of my heart!

The time we spent together - time with God, with the people and especially with the women from and the villages around – It had been such a great blessing for me personally!  It is quite hard to explain what I feel was so special during my time there, as you can imagine... But I would like to share some thoughts with you, which I sent to some friends when I was there:

Tuesday, March 1st:
Yesterday we visited a poor family’s home with kids, I love so much. It had been so wonderful to see Lela – a girl who has Cerebral Palsy, her legs and her arms are very crippled because of poor muscle control – Oh..How can I explain how it
feels to put one’s arm around her? She is such a cheerful girl likewise are the other kids who romped in the small, narrow, humble one-room-cottage. It would be enough work for one life just to do exercises with Lela and helping her
younger brother Sainur, who is handicapped as well, to learn how to walk. Among these needs there has been space for brimming joy and cordialness. I know that God was in our midst.

Tomorrow the women conference is going to start. Cindy, Lidia and I will go and share the gospel each day at different places. Many things are still uncertain:  Which specific thoughts and songs God wants us to choose, which women and how many are going to be there, how we’ll get from one place to another... I remember myself about how God prepared everything for me to get here. So he will provide this as well. I trust to him!  It is such a deep desire that God is going to use our words and songs and everything to speak into the women life. If God doesn’t fill us out, our deeds will be empty. Please pray for us!  This morning I had this song in my mind, "God Will Make a Way."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zo3fJYtS-o

Friday, March 3rd:
I barely know where I shall start to tell. So many things happened in the last days. I met so many people. I heard so many words – many chanted and spoken. I understood the people here so much better. When I close my eyes, I see
faces of these people we met. Their faces are so distinctive. I see the Turkish Roma kids – rhythm is in their blood – dancing. I see Gluelseve, a young woman with a lamed hand, who tries persistent to write numbers and at the end she
just colors circles again... And I see a pretty, young girl, 15 years old, who raised her hand once Cindy asked if somebody wants to make a decision for Jesus. In heaven there is a big joyful celebration today because this girl got saved. And I can tell you: I celebrate as well. This joy fills me up completely.  It is no thanks to us! God touches hearts!

Yesterday I asked God very excited:  What will you do in the following days? He answered already!  God blesses me affluent! I learned already a lot on my trip about the people, being human and about GOD!  I hadn’t been a person who is in the mood to dance that often – very rare. Many times sorrow and tasks are getting authority over me and I’m getting the feeling to not carry that stuff... That I’m full of joy and powerful and it is just because of God!  Our God doesn’t have favorite children – so I’m sure the same is true for YOU!  

Wednesday, March 9th:
The woman’s conference is over. Yesterday we recognized faces we had seen this past week at one of the 7 places where we had been. Roughly 150 women followed our invitation. It had been a very special afternoon for all of us. I just marvel
that God brought so many women together to worship Him. When I stay and think about some of the ladies situations I’m able to realize all the miracles completely.  Many women don’t have a car so they had to take public transportation. They must have saved money for this trip, perhaps they had to conserve it from other times.  There were women who live in very bad conditions – material as well as emotional. Mothers, grandmothers, young girls, teenagers, kids, aunts and friends... It had been women from different denominations. And all of them got at least a red tulip and some cake which somebody else made for them.

Miracles which happened last week:
Women made a decision for Christ. God healed Anna-Maria. Women could get out of their daily routines at least for 2 hours.  They were in a warm place; they heard that they are special, loved and awesome in Gods eyes... Being together with the women and thinking with them about God had been for me personally an indescribable blessing. I understood God on a new way! He is a loving God! He is a giving God! A God who thinks just good things about us and who wants us to live! Not just somehow, or with suffering. NO, he promised us a life abundantly. HE was, HE is, and HE will be present! And HE heals also today, I believe it. And at the same time it is almost bigger than I can imagine... But I experienced it with my own eyes.  “With God all things are possible!” – Cindy had been a big example for this attitude to life.  Here is another song on my heart, "Jesus Lover of My Soul, It's All About You."                                                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD-ZdMOx_HY 

This song I could sing today. For me it’s a prayer. I deep wish.  I wanna stick by one’s decision every single day. To comprehend myself only dependent on Jesus – this desire I felt gloriously the last days!

IMPOSSIBLY? POSSIBLE!

Jesus looked hard at them and said, "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it."

Matthew 19:29  (The Message)

 Impossible!? 
The morning program with the kids continues to grow.  On Friday, 35 kids came into the program.  Everyday I add 2 more cups of water and one cup of rice to the pot of rice with milk, sugar and cinnamon.  If we don't make rice we have to run to the nearest store to buy more bread for the sandwiches and an extra litre of milk for chocolate milk.  Kids from age 2 to 15 come with great enthusiasm!  As Mogli, an eleven year old boy, who never attended school and whose parents left him and his 6 siblings to work in Spain, sounds out the letters he has learned in the past year with a volunteer from the church, "m-a-m-a, mama," we rejoice with him.  He is so proud he can read and beams with delight.  Although a small step in a huge sea of uneducated children, it won't end here! 
Possible!  With God all things are possible!

Impossible!?
A dream 5 years ago to have a center for kids to come in and eat, clean and learn is underway right now.  A dream that is now a reality with the help of many volunteers from the churches.  Not only is the dream a reality but it comes with a bonus coffee shop to be used as an evangelical outreach for the city.  A place for many to come in and experience an environment of love and hope.  A place that is bigger than we could even think or imagine.  I could of lived anywhere in the country I love so much but God put me here, right across the street from an existing neglected building owned by the Church.  A Church with the same desires, dreams and hope for the community.  A Church that opened up their hearts and allowed a foreigner to come and work along side of them. 
Possible! With God all things are possible!

Impossible?
The afternoon Church program in partnership with the Baptist church was off to a slow start this year.  With lack of consistency for someone to help me there it was hit and miss.  Last week, after much prayer and asking God what to do, I felt it important to just continue to move forward regardless of what the circumstances were.  I stepped out in faith and asked the man and wife who has been helping me keep the kids in some kind of order, to preach to the kids.  It was amazing, the anointing of God fell on him and he told the story of Jonah to those kids like he was telling it to 1000 people.  It was like it was always meant to be, but we just didn't see it before and God's perfect timing prepared everyone for this time, NOW!  The kids stood still as he spoke and respected what he was teaching them.  First time for that to happen!  I thank God for giving me eyes to see.  I am sure that the program will grow like never before, as there was a real shift in the atmosphere. 
 Possible! With God all things are possible!

Impossible?

Two years ago I dreamed of a woman's conference to be held here in the very special month of March.  March 8 is the day of the woman and it is respected and celebrated.  Well, this year it will be a reality.  In partnership with the Churches here we will kick off the first meeting Friday with the Turkish woman.  On Sunday my very special friend from Germany will come and lead worship for our time at the conference.  Starting on March 2nd we will go to one or two villages, outside of the area, each day until March 8 to minister to the woman.  We will have a time of worship with music, poems and a possible drama.  On the 7th, SSM will host a luncheon to honor the woman leadership and on the 8th we will close with all the woman from the outside villages and here to come in and worship together in a larger setting.  I prayed for 2 years for a guest speaker from somewhere in the world to come and encourage the woman here.  Well, looks like I will be the guest speaker and all I have to say about that is... 

Possible! With God all things are possible!

 

These are just a few Impossibilities and trust me there are hundreds but God has made them all Possible!  Never, never, never believe that your dreams and what is in your heart is Impossible because with God it is Possible!   

Quality vs. Quantity

As I prepared for 2 Christmas programs and a food distribution to families I stressed!  Did I have enough gifts?  Did I have enough food?  Was it to much?  Who would come?  Who would be touched?  Was I doing the right thing by giving gifts or would it be fights because one kid got a gift who came but the neighbor kid who did not come did not receive one?  Should I wrap all the things individually or give 2 things in a package?  Would the real reason for Christmas be lost in the giving of gifts?  Oh boy, so many things! 

Would the kids come?  Would they all come and I not have enough or would none come and it would be all for nothing?  Well, I decided to close my eyes real tight and just trust God!  And here is what happened:

In the literacy morning program, seven kids came!  It was a beautiful morning!  All received a sandwich and tea with an awesome bible lesson, about the birth of Jesus, given in their own tongue.  After we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and handed out 2 gifts for each child.  There was great joy when they opened their gifts of hats, gloves or a scarf.  The other package was a flashlight, given by the German team!  It wasn't quantity but it was quality!

The afternoon church program was all about quantity!  Over 80 kids packed into the small village church!  I was expecting and prepared for 50.  They showed up one hour early and they steadily came in and out for the next hour.  We sang songs and the Pastor of the Church shared the Christmas story!  We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and all received a sandwich, juice and small piece of cake.  I brought 50 gifts with me but since I did not have enough for all I will hold them and give in January to the kids who come to the program every week.  I was sad for this but felt it was the right thing to do!

After the program, we went with a team from the church and distributed 18 bags of food and some gifts.  Each family received physical food but more important they received a song and a blessing for their family.  It was cold and muddy but a beautiful evening sharing the love of Christ.  The next day we traveled to a small village outside of Medgidia and prayed and distributed food and gifts for 2 families and 4 widows.  It was a beautiful time to visit the families from the local church and celebrate the reason for the season, Jesus! 

We also provided food and gifts for a family who stays in the trash all day, and a family of 17 children, ages baby to 20.  The family is from the Pentecostal Church in North Romania! 

When all was said and done and I reflected about all the things God enabled us to do,  I was overwhelmed.  I pondered about quality and quantity!?  Was it more important to have more people with less quality or more quantity and less people?  Well, I think God is perfect and since all the programs were given unto Him and for His glory the quality and quantity was equal!  For 5 years I dreamed of being out in the field and giving to those He loves and who are in need and this year my dream to serve God and His people in a foreign land has begun! 

Thank you to all those who helped make this Christmas full of love for so many!  You opened your hearts, your love, your money, your time and the windows of heaven opened and poured out a blessing we could not contain!  Thank you for all who served along side of me from all over the world!  We thank the Jesus in you for your hearts to serve us here!