Looking back to move ahead

Playing Twister, peering through the bedroom window, cooking in the kitchen, tea parties and the kisses and hugs have changed my life forever. The joy of 33 youth and children has impacted my life in ways that I can't even find words to express. How do I even begin to tell what is in my heart? We say a picture is worth a thousand words, and it is true but all the words in the world can't express the feelings of my time spent in Romania.

It has been a joy and privilege to serve these children and the ministry and I am so thankful for the opportunity. During my time there I have established life long friendships with not only people in Romania but from Germany, Austria, Switzerland and America. There has not been a day that has gone by since being in the states that I have not thought of a fond memory of the children or the team of people who came and served there over the summer.

The encouragement and support financially and spiritually has truly changed my life. The emails and warm thoughts have helped get me through some challenging times. Together we have made a huge impact in the lives of these children and they will never be the same due to the love we shared with them. I don't think any of us will stop praying for these children and we will never forget how they impacted our lives!

Although difficult to move ahead it is a must! There are millions of children who are orphaned around the world. Millions of families living in trash dumps and on the streets around the world. Millions of lives waiting to be touched with the love of Christ! We can't stop in one place, we must keep pushing forward, breaking new ground! A piece of bread, a bowl of soup, a hug, a kiss, a prayer, so many things, tells people that God remembers them and God knows their name and He did not forget them and He does exist! Who will tell them? Who!?

I quickly hear the words in my heart, the same ones that I said 3 years ago overlooking the vineyards in Iasi Romania. The same words Isaiah and many, many many generations of people have said, "Here am I; send me."(!) (Isaiah 6:8) I will go! Me, Cindy! Send me to the next place, open the doors and let the relationships that have been establish be used for your glory to help build your kingdom around the world! Together like a chain linked around the world we will stand arm in arm in the spirit and change lives with your love.

Keep reading and watching for the next place, it is an exciting time! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!

Thursday..

I sit here at my computer wondering what I will say? How will I say it? Is there anything to say at all? It has been an emotional 5 days. Last thursday I found out I would be leaving the orphanage and today I am home in St. Louis at my parents house. I am still in shock and very numb by the quick transition. There are so many emotions.

For the last 3 months I have poured everything I have to give into 33 children and today I sit alone in a quiet house early in the morning wondering what I will do today? I am awake due to time, as it is 2:30 p.m. in Romania. I miss the sound of 11 girls barling down the steps to go to breakfast, if it was not the pounding of the steps that woke me it was the loud shhhhhh's that did for sure. Then 20 minutes later the sounds of them coming back discussing the program of who would do what chore.

There are so many things I miss but I will go back to the day I had to tell the kids that my time with them was going to expire. We all sat in the bedroom ready for bed, Claudia and Dianna sitting on my lap and Maria and Eva sitting so close I could barely move, waiting for our nightly song and prayer.

I then explained that it was time for me to go and I would not be staying until December. After 3 seconds I had their full attention as tears began to run down my cheeks and I could barely get the words out. There mouths hung open in disbelief as the quickly inquired as to when I would leave. Eva began to cry and then Mirella and then many followed suit. Their hearts are very senstive to each other. As each one of them dealt with the emotion in different ways, Ileana was loud and lauged uncontrollably and others sat quiet in their own thoughts and I was bombarded with many questions. I answered all the questions and assured them that it had nothing to do with them that it was God's timing. Even though I had a hard time understanding that reason myself and still have moments where I don't understand. We then sang a few songs and prayed and I tucked them and told them we would discuss it more in the morning. There were many tears but a peace knowing that we still had each other for a few more days.

I was then off to share with the boys in House 2 as I had the night shift with them. On the second floor all was quiet as it was 10:15 and 10 boys under 10 years old were fast asleep. So up to the third floor I went to tell 6 of the older boys. As I sat on the edge of the bed and told them of my departure there was silence and disbelief. Once again, I answered all their questions and we talked about how much we would miss each other. It was a good time spent with them and a good time of prayer afterwards.

I had already explained the circumstances to the teens and it was difficult telling them as well due to the close relationship I have with each one of them. Maria, Juliana, Romeo, Iuli, Jordan...We were all in disbelief but knew my time would come to a close quickly.

Even though I am back in the States and trying to figure all this out myself, I still have a peace and know that God's ways are higher than ours and I have to trust with all my heart.

Many plans are in man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand. Proverbs 19:21

Here is what Joyce Meyer wrote about this passage. Even thought you may still be operation in old habits, you still have hope of change, but you can't change yourself. God will change you, if you seek Him with your whole heart. Don't be in a hurry for God to finish working in your life. We want everything to be done instantly, but God is not interested in our schedule. The enemy may thwart your plans, but God's plans don't get thwarted, and He has a unique plan for you. Seek God's plan for your life. Stay on fire, red hot, zelous. Pursue His prupose for you with every ounce of energy you have. There is nothing in this world that is worth seeking more.

Now this is just one day of saying goodbye, as I try and process thru the last weeks events please stand in prayer with me for the kids. As it was truly a blessing that God took a "me" and sent me across the world to share 3 months with these very special children. Together we have poured into these kids lives and helped change them for the better. More on this journey later.

Suddenly...

Suddenly things changed...My original plans were to got to Iasi today and cross into Moldova but I am very sad to say that I will be leaving the orphanage today and back to the States on Monday. Brother Ilie, Founder of Walk in the Light Ministries, spoke with me on thursday and it seems they will not need any volunteers for the school year. So instead of going to Iasi I have prayed and decided to come back to the States and pray about where God will have me go next.

However, now I am dealing with saying goodbye here! It is honestly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to date. I will miss these children so much but trust that God's ways are higher than mine. I came here in 4 days notice and I leave just as fast.

Please pray for my travel mercies and I will update you further on the details the beautiful and lovely departure from the orphanage. I have amazing photos of our last days together and stories that will move you. Even though I will not be here physically our hearts will be here...Together we have changed these kids lives.

I am sorry it is abrupt for you but it is abrupt for us here as well...We walked on this journey together from the beginning and we will walk through it to the end. We need your prayers and we pray for each and everyone of you who has touched our lives...More later today or when I hit the states on monday.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful journey with me.

Even the sky celebrates.

As I sit on the balcony typing I can smell onions and peppers on my hands as I have been helping cut them the past 2 days. I wish you could be here as I gaze into the sky on a crisp, crystal clear night and watch a light show from God. The stars are shining so bright, it really is "like a diamond in the sky." Every where I look stars are shooting across the black canvas, I mean it looks like this was made special for me! It really is the most beautiful I have ever seen and I am moved by the goodness of the Lord as I reflect on the past few days.

We are near the end of summer and getting ready for a new season. The days are getting shorter and fall is in the air. There have been some very cool nights here and you can smell the change in the season. The fruit from the trees have been picked and we have stripped the hazelnuts from the trees and ate all them and now we just wait for school to start.

While we wait we made chocolate peanut butter refrigerator cookies...That was a huge hit, especially the licking of the bowl. Boy can they lick it clean! It is a special time for them and me to! I just have to bring my patience with me, there is a real test in letting 10 girls have a chance to put 5 ingredients into a bowl. Everyone gets to stir 5 strokes! :)

The other highlight we had over the weekend was Maria's birthday. Maria turned 17 and me and Juliana wanted to make it a special day for her, after all we only turn 17once in a life time. The young girls and I made a chocolate cake and Juliana, 17 years old and very special to me as well, made a yellow cake. We had a fun day creating and decorating 2 birthday cakes. It was a privilege for me to cook with Juliana, as she said this was her first time ever to make a cake.

At 8 p.m. the anticipation of the party was over all the kids came for games, cake and ice cream. Trust me it is a real treat here. We played pin the nose on the clown and hot potato. I wrapped a few small gifts for prizes, bubbles and balloons. (Thanks again Knox Church) It was so much laughter and fun! Then for the birthday song and then eat! Oh my, the kids were litter ally licking the plate. I know it sounds crazy but true! It is a real treat here!

Food it is what sustains us physically but it sustains us in many ways other ways as well. Think about some of the most important moments in your life...In most cases they involve food, birthdays, promotions, weddings. Some of our fondest memories are smelling our mothers or grandmothers cooking coming from the kitchen and sometimes even the not so happy moments in our lives were discussed at a table eating food.

I think of the memories we are etching into these children's lives just by making a cookie or baking a cake and years down the road when they are making cakes and cookies they will reflect on the first time they made a cookie with Cindy from America who came to the orphanage when I was a child...These times now will go on for generations to come and the thought of it makes me understand the stars dancing in the night across the sky in celebration of generations of promises coming to pass. He is the Alpha and Omega!

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Words and more pics coming soon!